Ep. 29- Heidi's Story

Becky and Autumn sit down with Heidi to share her story. Heidi lives in Southern California and is a single mom of three kids. She works as a Special Ed instructional aide and is also a Certified Life Coach. She enjoys playing the piano, hiking, and watching Jane Austen adaptations.

Heidi was married for eighteen years. She shares how she would occasionally find pornography on her now-ex-husband’s computer. Over time, she noticed the red flags of this problematic behavior, but it wasn’t until the loss of their young daughter that her husband’s behaviors slipped into an addiction. She shares how the lying, gaslighting, and disconnection from the family progressed from that point on.

Through these hardships, Heidi describes her feelings of isolation.

I thought I was supposed to counsel with my husband and be a support to him. I didn’t think I was supposed to talk to anyone about it.

She shares that her relationship with God was on and off. “I never lost the idea that He has a plan for me and wants me to be happy,” Heidi says. But she didn’t want people looking down on them or becoming involved in their business, so she kept it all to herself.

When things worsened over time, Heidi explains that she realized she had to reach out for help. She shares how it was through the people placed in her life that she began learning about boundaries and betrayal trauma.

The concept of “taking back my power” was introduced to me.

Through support groups, Heidi describes how she began learning skills like self-care and engaging in vision work. These things helped her push forward when she didn’t believe she had the emotional strength or energy. 

The darkest time for Heidi was when she began trying to live authentically and understanding her divine nature, but the emotional abuse made it difficult to progress in her life.

I realized since he wasn’t doing the work, I could build my spiritual life better on my own than with him.

Heidi made the prayerful decision to divorce. It was then that she realized she could develop self-esteem and find joy. Through lots of journaling and writing letters to God, she felt His presence in her life. She had deep impressions in her heart that He would watch over her and she would never want for anything. She discovered that He knows exactly what we need and when we need it.

During times I’ve felt lonely, I’ve been able to feel God’s hand on my shoulder.

When asked what her restoration through Christ has looked like, Heidi shares that, through Christ, she better understands the idea of forgiveness. She’s letting go of the idea that her ex could ever make full restitution to her. Instead, she’s letting God do that.

Heidi’s Recovery Resources: 

Physical, spiritual, emotional, mental, and intellectual self-care.

What Can I Do About Me? By Rhyll Croshaw

Brene Brown’s books

Dressing Your Truth by Carol Tuttle

Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend

Facing Heartbreak by Stefanie Carnes

Physical exercise

Sleep

Gratitude journaling

Therapy

Heidi’s Songs:

“So What?” by Pink

“It Might be Hope” by Mercy River