Ep. 34- Hunter's Story- Son
/Becky and Tiffany sit down with Tiffany’s eighteen-year-old son, Hunter. Hunter leads a very active life with many diverse interests such as sports, singing in a choir, and riding his motorcycle. Hunter shares his thoughts on what it was like growing up with parents who suffered from betrayal trauma and addiction.
Growing up, Hunter knew his parents loved him, but he didn’t always feel it. In a similar way, he believed in God, but didn’t have a lot of emotion surrounding Him. Experiencing the disintegration of his parents’ marriage was difficult, and he remembers feeling isolated and abandoned.
It wasn’t until his parents divorced that Hunter began his own healing process.
When asked about how he felt about therapy, Hunter explains how, initially, it was hard for him to understand how to use therapy to benefit his life. After trying a few different therapists, he found one he connected with and that’s when he started getting things done in therapy.
Hunter shares how he has emotional tools that he otherwise wouldn’t have thanks to therapy. He feels he can better cope with things and be there for others. He also has learned that:
“Things that aren’t our fault are still going to affect us.”
He adds, “There is a lot of value in being able to talk about things even when you don’t want to. Being able to be vulnerable is a really important life skill.”
Hunter also feels that sports and extracurricular things with friends probably helped him even more than therapy. It’s the act of getting out of the house and doing something you enjoy that gets you out of your head.
“It sort of changed my identity when I was out doing things,” Hunter says. “I wasn’t part of a broken family, I was a soccer player.”
Hunter explains how going through all these tough things in his life has pulled him a lot closer to the Savior.
“This has shown me, irrevocably and undeniably, that God is real. He’s pushed me through so much.”
Hunter shares how his relationship with his parents has improved over the years. He’s able to talk on the same level with his father. And he describes his mom as loving, helpful, and “less like a person and more like an angel.”
Tiffany explains, “We’re all doing the very best we can with what we have and with what we know. I was really rigid and controlling for a long time in my trauma, and I figured out somewhere along the way that I’m just supposed to be a cheerleader.”
When asked about how these experiences will affect his future, Hunter shares that he has promised himself he will not have a pornography addiction. He has decided he won’t give in to things that would ruin his relationships.
“I have promised myself I will not do things that would hurt my wife. The biggest thing that I want to be is a good dad and I want to have a really good relationship with my wife and kids.”
Becky asked Hunter what restoration through Christ has meant to him.
“Singing holy music gets to me and is something that restores me,” Hunter says. He also advises to have courage to keep trying activities you can be involved in. Becky reminds that, as parents, we can take it to the Savior and ask, “What do my children need?”
In addition to helping kids get involved in extracurriculars at an early age and supporting their activities, Hunter advises moms to keep loving their children. He describes how his mom, Tiffany, is patient, forgiving, and always loving.
Hunter wraps up the interview with a quote by Bruce Lee, “Patience is not passive. On the contrary, it is concentrated strength.”
Hunter’s Recovery Resources:
Therapy
Extracurricular activities
Time with good friends
Hunter’s Song:
“I Believe in Christ” by the Tabernacle Choir at Temple Square
